Yesterday, I received six text messages from someone I didn't know. The person was trying to get in contact with an "Elliott", whom I am not. I responded to the sender, informing them that I was not this "Elliott" they were trying to reach, and hypothesized that they had the wrong number. I also sent a brief note of apology, because, well, it just seemed like an apology-worthy moment. I'm not sure how they will react (or, by now, have reacted); whether to the fact that I sent a reply denying that I am "Elliott", or to the fact that I sent my replies at a little after four in the morning (I really need to work on getting to bed at a decent hour). Though, in all likelihood, I will never know, as the sender will have rectified the problem.
I don't get very many text messages. Honestly, on an average day, I will receive zero. So when I do get one, it's often surprising to some extent. I'm not entirely sure how to respond to messages in general, and the fact that I'm getting messages meant for someone else only compounds on my uncertainty.
I don't talk to many other people. I don't like doing it. I can just feel the judgement coming from them. They judge every aspect of me: how I talk, how I hold myself, how I look. Everything is studied, evaluated, and assigned a value, all of which comes together to form some scathing criticism of my very being.
Logically, I know this is not the case. Most people are too busy with whatever is going on in their own lives to give a rodent's hindquarters about me. But I still get the feeling of being judged like I was an animal at the State Fair, and that the final results find me lacking.
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