Tired

I haven't been sleeping well lately. Over the last few days, I have woken up far earlier than I intended. I set my alarm clock for 9:00 AM, I fall asleep. I wake up, look at the clock, it's 5:02 AM. And then I can't go back to sleep, so I'm stuck waiting until it's light out and other people are waking up. I then try to get through the day on minimal sleep, usually trying to compensate with caffeine, or making up the difference with an extended nap sometime in the afternoon.

Caffeine, a chemical most of us are familiar with. Get some in your system, it crowds out adenosine, and just like that, you're not as sleepy. Hmm, chemicals. During the day, I consume soda (caffeine) in order to stay awake, and before I go to bed, an antihistamine (diphenhydramine) to help me fall asleep. I've certainly been taking the antihistamines on a more regular basis than, say, a year ago. I worry; am I developing a dependency? If not that, am I developing a tolerance? Am I waking up because they no longer have the same kick they used to? If that's the case, then what next? My first instinct would be to up the dosage; according to the directions, two antihistamines can be safely taken as one dose. But what would happen if I developed a tolerance for that? No, better not risk it. My second instinct is to try cutting back. For a time, to try to fall asleep on own; in this situation, my reduced sleep helps me. Lack of sleep makes me tired in the evening.

Or perhaps my early morning waking is my body's way of telling me something? Perhaps I have some problem that needs an outlet, and waking me up is the chosen method. Certainly, in the past, during periods of high stress and anxiety, I have experienced bouts of...gastrointestinal distress. This may be a similar situation; a problem I face is causing problems for me as a way of confronting me about the original problem. That sounded much better in my head.

Or maybe it's simply a phase that will pass when it is time.

I'm just not sure.

What I am sure of, however, it that I do not enjoy going to bed at 10:30 PM (and presumably falling asleep shortly thereafter), only to wake up at 12:59 AM. That sucked.