Four Seconds...

I had a bad dream earlier today. I was feeling tired, so I took an afternoon nap. As I slept, I dreamt.

I was driving a car, following a route that I have driven many times before. My dad was sitting in the passenger seat next to me, and at one point, he called me out for not slowing down at an intersection where I was turning (I wasn't slowing down as I went through the turn, or at least not slowing as much as I should have).

Time skips forward; I'm still driving, and at one point, I turn my eyes away from the road (and take one hand off the wheel) so that I can look at (and fumble with) something on a keychain. I turn back to the road (and put my hand back on the wheel), and there is a brief pause, followed by the realization that I wasn't looking at the road for a full four seconds. (In the dream, I just knew that's how long it had been.) With that came the other realization of just how dangerous that was of me. I begin to wonder what's wrong with me; my behavior is very atypical all of a sudden.

Time skips forward again, the sun is setting and light is fading. It's getting hard to see things. I'm still driving. The settings for the car are screwed up: the seat is set too far back, and somehow to the right, which makes steering difficult; the rearview mirror and side mirrors are all angled such that it is difficult to look in them. I am driving very close behind another car on the highway (in the two previous portions, I was driving within city limits). At the last second, I opt to not follow the car onto an exit ramp, instead staying on the main highway road. At some point, I pull over on the side of the road and begin crying hysterically, telling my father that I was being a terrible driver and that I don't know what's wrong with me.

Then I woke up.

I'm not sure if the dream had any meaning, but I suspect that it did. Earlier today, I drove myself and my dad to and from church service. I did this last week as well, but that time I thought it was just a one-time-deal; I backed the car out of the garage while he paused to aerate the water for some plants (he's been working on growing water plants for the fish tank, and will occasionally aerate the water that the plants are in). It was just being efficient with our time; he works on the plants while I get the car ready, and I'm already in the driver's seat, so I may as well drive us there.

I don't drive very often. Really, the only time I drive on a regular basis is driving home after church service has ended. So, driving to the church is...not exactly strange, but novel enough to be mildly off-putting - it's a small but significant deviation from the established routine. I think part of the dream was my anxiety that this is going to continue - that I will do the church-based driving. I don't drive that frequently, so this basically doubles the amount of time that I spend behind the wheel. I'm scared that my lack of experience will betray me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a good driver! My record is clean. I don't like going above the speed limit if possible. I use turn signals when changing lanes. I check my mirrors frequently (or try to). I don't drink, so intoxication isn't a problem. I normally leave my cell phone at home, where it won't embarrass me with its age.

Within the last few days, I saw online a video warning against distracted driving. I was thinking about the video after I had woken and was trying to calm myself. In my dream, I was distracted for four seconds. That's more than enough time to seriously mess up my life. Or someone else's life. Or end a life. Four seconds. Plenty of time for some kid to run out into the street, and you don't see them until it's too late. Going 20mph, you would travel 117.33 feet in four seconds. That's about a third of a city block here in the Midwest.

I have seen the trailer for the movie "Sully". There's a line that sticks with me that I think fits here. 'Over forty years in the air, but in the end, I'm gonna be judged on 208 seconds.' You can have a spotless driving record for years, only for it all to come crashing down because of those four seconds you spent not paying attention.

Please exercise caution while driving. Observe the posted speed limit. Pay attention to your surroundings. If you've been drinking, you should not be driving. You can do things with your phone, or you can drive; you cannot do both.