Denial

I've been feeling anxious and tense lately. Today, especially, I've been feeling agitated and confrontational. I think I've identified the source(s) of these feelings, but surprisingly (to me, at first) it doesn't make me feel better. If anything, it makes me feel worse; it hones my frustration, gives my tension focus, and is quantifiable (so I can actually measure it and know just how frustrated to be). I'm going through withdrawal, though not of a controlled substance - rather, of junk food and internet access.

I haven't had Doritos in about a week. I haven't had regular Dr. Pepper in over a week. My Dad not having to work on Tuesday cuts into the time I am online (as he is using the computer). And because Dad is home, he cooks on Tuesday, and as a result (I'm skipping a few steps to get right to the end result) I haven't had french fries in at least two weeks. The logical part of my brain points out that I am eating somewhat healthier, albeit unwillingly. The emotional part of my brain is screaming obscenities, and if it is not placated and soon, it will drive me to punch someone in the face.

This is not me exaggerating to make a point. Nor am I making idle threats. I am becoming increasingly frustrated and will commit an act of violence out of frustration. I don't like where this is going, and I don't want to go there.

Fortunately for all parties involved (and those who would be involved), Mom is going grocery shopping tomorrow, and I made sure that Doritos and Dr. Pepper were on the list of things to get.

I'm having trouble going on. I feel like I should be continuing this post in a thoughtful manner, but I'm having trouble thinking coherently and putting down my thoughts coherently.

I'm also writing tired, so that is not helping.