Release

 I am stressed out. This is probably something that many, MANY people can relate to. I am an employee of an essential business, and I am regularly working 50-60 hours a week, every week. I'm getting worn down, and I don't have any real outlet for my stress. It accumulates during the week, and I try to relax and unwind over the course of the weekend as best I can. But sometimes that isn't enough.

I was in a bad mood at work today, at the start of my shift. I didn't get enough sleep last night (trouble falling asleep), and I think I had some hunger-based stress held over from last night (I got REALLY hungry last night, to the point where I was having trouble just thinking). My work got sloppy, and I got swapped out with someone else. I spent the next few hours prepping parts.

At one point, our Tech person (she's technically in charge while our supervisor is out) came over to check that I was okay. I admitted that I was/am tired and stressed out, and that the sixty-hour work weeks were taking their toll. She sympathized with me, and told me that she would be there if I needed someone to talk to, or if I wasn't feeling well or needed to go home early. I thanked her, and she left.

I got a sandwich from the vending machines and ate it during our second break. This, I think, is something I should be doing in the future. Without this, I'm going about seven (7) hours without eating. I've had some bad reactions in the past brought on by the intense hunger that comes from going so long without food.

I had a realization in the last hours of our shift: my weekend did not de-stress me. If anything, this last weekend actively contributed to my stress levels, driving them higher! Long story short, my phone died, and I had to get it replaced. I am still haunted by the last time I had to replace phones, as that time around I also had to replace phone numbers, which in turn required me to update my contact information in about a dozen different places. The prospect of having to go through all that AGAIN was one that did not sit well in my mind. Thankfully, I only had to change phones, and was able to retain my current number.

So, by my estimation, I am carrying some of the stress of last week, some of the stress of the weekend, and the stress of this week. And, of course, this is a six-day work week, so I will only have the one day to try to unwind and relax. I hope I can actually survive to see it.