I am, by nature, an emotional person. I try not to show what I'm feeling if I can help it, but I have a lot of feelings. And these feelings, good and bad, have been running very strong these last few weeks. Last week, I repeatedly felt intensely sad. Each time, this sadness just came out of nowhere and was accompanied by an intense urge to cry.
Yesterday, I was having problems with the mill I was working on and snapped at one of my classmates. I apologized for it earlier today, and he apologized for unintentionally provoking me into snapping. Over the course of shop class, I was just getting more and more worked up. And then I spent most of the yesterday evening and today feeling guilty about my outburst.
(As it turned out, the chuck that I was trying and failing to load into the mill was stripped. The threads at the top of the chuck were gone, so there was nothing for the mill to pick up on.)
Shop class itself has not been going well. There is only about a month left, and given my current rate of progress, there is no way in hell I am going to finish the second packet. Case in point: I have yet to finish the first packet! I'm trying to do the best that I can, but all too frequently, I find myself stuck and unsure of what to do next. I know I should ask a question, but I don't even know what question to ask!
I just feel stressed and sad.
I have depression; this I am certain of. I really need to see someone about it, and get treatment. Logically, I know all this. I'm just too scared to go ahead and do it.
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