Why am I so afraid?
Going to college and getting a degree was a bust. My resume has a several-year gap, rendering unemployable, or at least undesirable as an employee. I have nothing going for me to go forward. Taking classes at a technical college at this point really is my best option. So why am I so hesitant?
I need to do something with my life.
Yeah, okay, my grades in college weren't great all the time, and at the end were bad enough that they got rid of me. It wasn't that I was doing entirely nothing. Most of the time I was coping and trying to bury my recurring thoughts of how much better off everyone around me would be if I were dead! Thoughts which have been coming back.
You say that I am squandering my life, Dad? Well fine, then. I'll do something with my life: I'll end it, how about that!
It doesn't have to be this way.
Why am I so scared to make a move forward?
This keeps happening: an opportunity arises, I hesitate, end up taking too long to make a decision, and by the time I am ready to do whatever it is, the opportunity is gone, expired. I took too long. Time ran out.
Time is running out now.
Why can't I do this?
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